Stop the Embarrassment of a Motor Tic or Twitch

It's fricking embarrassing!

But I never really told anyone.

Who could I tell? I didn't feel comfortable telling my parent's about it - like really opening up my emotions and telling them. That's weird. I'm a dude. How do I talk to my parents about EMOTIONS? That scared the bejizzles out of me.

Over a 10 year period, I did have brief chats with a Dr here and there, but I never wanted to take the drugs. Pumping myself with chemical crap to numb me to the world? Hell no! 

I wanted to figure this out on my own. I'm independent. I'm a problem solver. I gotta figure this out like a level in a computer game.

So, my body used to tic, move, twitch in all sorts of annoyingly wonderful ways, and to be honest, the Tic itself wasn't the biggest issue... I mean.. I neurotically enjoyed the weird movements my body would do.. it kinda felt good... like a build up and a release of muscles gave me a pump of adrenaline...

...the real PAIN came from other people seeing me... and in my eyes, I looked weird. Like really weird. Why can't I JUST BE NORMAL?!

So, I become hypervigilant. I become hyper vigilant of all those around me at all times just to make sure that no one saw me Tic. So I'd hold my tic, look around, make sure no one is watching, then allow myself to Tic.

You know HOW MUCH ENERGY it took my mind and body to do this? An insane amount of energy and thoughts and wasted time! Wasted energy always thinking and worrying if I'm being seen or not... instead of LIVING MY LIFE.

Madness.

So when I finally realised I was this pattern, and I started caring less about how other people think about me, my tic naturally subsided because I started becoming less aware of everyone else around me and started focussing more on myself. 

That was a big shift on my healing journey. 

From ticcing thousands of times a day to a feeling of peace and stillness and carefree attitude about my tic helped - weirdly - stop the tic! 

And so here I am today, helping other people stop their tic. 

Who'd have thought I'd become a tic-free coach? but it was such a burden in my life for too long that I now enjoy helping others stop their tic - I've somehow got a knack for it because I've been through it. 

-d