Nose Tic, Social Anxiety & Shame, Tourettes

Key Takeaways:

• Judgment from others increased self-blame and perfectionism
• Pushing down nose tic just spread it; fighting made issue worse
• Self-acceptance regardless of others' opinions brought freedom

I was just entering my teens when the nose tic first appeared. Out of nowhere, my nose would violently twitch upwards hundreds of times a day. At first, it didn't bother me much. But when classmates started pointing it out, I became deeply self-conscious. Their judgment and shame quickly became my own. 

I desperately tried hiding the embarrassing tic, using every ounce of willpower to resist those urges. But the more I fought it, the more the urge would build until my nose erupted like a sneeze I couldn't hold back. What was once an unconscious impulse now felt like a personal failing because of how others reacted to it.

The nose tic eventually spread to other parts of my body. I now realize I had been unintentionally driving it inward by resisting those urges so forcefully. My attempt to control the tics only led to more misery and isolation.

In my 20s, I started practicing self-acceptance instead of self-judgment. I explored the roots of my perfectionism and need for approval. I stopped blaming myself for the tics and softened into the discomfort. And a profound shift occurred.

By becoming curious about the urges instead of ashamed, the tics lost their power over me. Each nose twitch was no longer a source of embarrassment but a call to meet myself with compassion. 

I stopped caring so much about hiding them or what others might think. I released the need to be "normal." The more I practiced inner gentleness, the less intense the urge to tic became. 

Do tics still arise? Of course - this is a lifelong journey. But I'm no longer at war with myself. In making friends with all the parts of me, even those I wanted to banish, I've found freedom. My tics are just one small part of who I am - and I am worthy of love, exactly as I am.